I understand Curling. That high.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
