She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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