I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize