I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
