oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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