Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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