i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize