i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
