He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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