So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
