My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
