I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You are the jesus of drinking
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
