i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
