Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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