it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
