His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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