Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
