Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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