So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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