Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
