So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
