the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
