Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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