Who wears a wallet chain?!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
