how do flat chested girls get laid?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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