He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I should be sponsored by Trojan
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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