brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
My first STD was from a foam party
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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