She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
