oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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