glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You smell like stripper and shame
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
