we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize