Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
