I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
