I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later