I love you!
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend