Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
hahahahaha turkey breast
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?