Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.