i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off