Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help