Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
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Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
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Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.