I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
