Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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