I wannas sexs uuuuu
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I need to sanitize my soul.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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