I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
