its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
