I showed him my bush... on skype.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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