all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
