the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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