Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
