I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
