with your own penis?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
