using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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