I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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