Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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