What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
