With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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