there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
