sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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