Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
