so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
