i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
