im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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