So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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