You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
