Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My feet surprised me
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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